2 ways to build self worth through personal style
self confidence vs self worth
So often in the style space, we talk about and focus on how to boost our self confidence.
Of course, we all want to be confident in ourselves and how we look.
But we talk about it like it’s a quick fix that will happen if we can just wear the perfect outfit, or know how to dress properly for our body type, or find the colors that work best for us.
I don’t think that these are the things that actually help to grow our confidence in our sense of style - what actually helps is to try new things, experiment, and just put in the reps.
Confidence - of any sort - comes from taking direct action. It’s not a feeling or a state of being.
This means that you can learn how to be stylish, how to create your own looks, and how to be confident in them all the time.
Here’s the thing: You don’t get good style from being confident - you become more confident in yourself & your sense of style the more that you explore style and try new things.
You can’t build your style confidence without truly, deeply believing that you deserve to take up space; that you’re worthy of being seen; and you’re deserving of living a big, bold life.
how to build self worth through style
Rather than focusing on your self confidence, I actually believe that it all starts with a strong sense of self-worth. I think that what scares so many women, in particular, away from having a strong sense of style is that fact that it makes you get noticed.
Being perceived by others, putting yourself up for judgment, is uncomfortable. And it’s especially uncomfortable if you don’t believe that you’re worthy of taking up that space or being noticed. It can be easy to shrink yourself or shy away from that attention.
Ok so this is a big concept and a big topic. We’re talking about how you can start to develop your sense of self-worth, which will in turn help you feel more comfortable in your style…
So where do we even start?! Here are 2 ways that I like to practice this.
1. use style to prioritize yourself
Dressing for yourself may sound like a simple concept, but I’m not sure how many people do it.
I remember in high school my English teacher had the girls in the class raise their hand to say if they dressed for the attention of boys, or for the attention of other girls. Most of the girls said they dressed for attention from other girls, for compliments etc.
I was the only one in the class who said that I dress for me; and my teacher basically said that that’s not true.
Dressing for yourself means that you’re prioritizing your preferences and tastes. I think this is especially important for women because I also we’ve been told to cater so much to other people’s feelings in order to make them more comfortable. Dressing for yourself and prioritizing your preferences is a good daily practice to help you get in the habit of putting yourself first; to think about what you want; and to make it happen.
And the best part? It doesn’t even have to make other people uncomfortable to have a huge, positive impact on ourselves.
2. use style as a form of self care
Check in with yourself every morning - ok, so we all have to get dressed everyday, right? Why not turn it into a built-in self care routine?
So often self care “requires” an elaborate ritual. But we can turn getting ready in the morning into a short but sweet ritual too. One thing I love about style is that it helps me express how I’m feeling at that point in time. My clothing can easily reflect my mood and intention for the day. If I’m feeling lighthearted and happy, I can wear a light shirt or a sundress. If I’m feeling more guarded I can wear something more intense so less people talk to me.
Try dropping in and checking in with yourself for just a moment in the morning. Look in the mirror, make eye contact, hold space for yourself, and see how you really truly feel. Then create a look to either reflect how you feel, or to protect it. This is just another way we can make prioritizing ourselves and how we feel a practice.
These are small things, simple shifts, but I promise they can make a huge impact over time.
The whole point is to start prioritizing YOU: what you want and how you feel. Style gives us a great medium to do this through, and to have fun doing so!
Style is a journey. Loving yourself is a journey. Give yourself grace and time as these changes start to really happen.
