Is perfectionism holding you back from your dream style?
Conversations about perfectionism are super common in the self help and business worlds.
But perfectionism is hardly ever mentioned in the world of style.
Yet, it's one of the biggest things that holds women back in their style.
What is perfectionism?
I love these two definitions of perfectionism by Brene Brown:
“1. Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame."
"2. Perfectionism is an unattainable goal. It’s more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy is spent trying.”
She describes perfectionism as a form of self protection. And this applies to style.
We want to wear the perfect outfit to protect ourselves from judgement. And we want to wear the perfect outfit so that we can finally feel more confident about how we look.
But as Brene Brown says, perfection is unattainable. It’s a fake concept.
No one is perfect, and while we may know that, it can still be hard to know that.
At the end of the day, perfectionism only holds you back from making important progress.
It stops you from attaining your style goals.
So how do we go about releasing the idea of perfection?
First, you have to figure out how perfectionism is holding you back, and in what ways.
How perfectionism impacts your style
Perfectionism holds us back from owning our style.
When we're stuck in perfectionism, we're caught up in doing style the "right way."
We focus on the do's and don'ts of style, and fixate on what we should or shouldn't wear. We look to others for answers to our style questions, rather than discover it ourselves.
In short, perfectionism keeps you from defining your own style.
Here are the 3 ways that perfectionism is the most detrimental to your style:
1. Style perfectionism keeps you from gaining confidence
I've heard countless women say that they "just don't have the confidence to pull something off".
They think that once they know exactly what to wear, then they *finally* will have style confidence.
The result?
They never actually feel confident in their style!
The only way to gain confidence in your style is to do it.
To try it. Fail a couple times. Succeed once or twice. Fail some more. And finally come into your own stride.
The more you experiment and play with your style, the more confidence you'll gain. You'll know that you're able to create stylish outfits on your own.
That's where style confidence comes from.
2. Style perfectionism keeps you stuck following trends
When you're stuck in style perfectionism, you're much more likely to follow trends.
Following trends isn't always a bad thing. It can actually be a good way to get inspiration for your own looks. Plus, knowing what's trendy ensures that your own style is still relevant.
But following trends becomes a problem when you believe you need to follow trends in order to be stylish.
A lot of women think that they need to replicate every new trend to look good. They worry that others might judge them if they're not wearing something new and trendy.
They become consumed with worries about how others perceive them.
So they spend tons of time and money following trends that will change next season.
In constant search for the perfect outfit, they lose touch with their own preferences.
Taking time to discover your preferences helps you break from trends.
3. Style perfectionism makes you turn to others for advice
Style perfectionism means we're always looking for the "right way" to do style.
And usually, we do this by asking others for their opinion.
We ask retail associates to tell us exactly what to wear and how to wear it. We ask our friends to validate our style choices and tell us we look good. And we turn to influencers as the end all be all for style advice.
We don't make style decisions for ourselves because we're afraid that it might be the "wrong" one.
And if it's the wrong one, then our peers will judge us.
The reality is that there is no one right or wrong way to do style.
Your style is what you make it.
You get to create your own style. You get to decide what works and what doesn't work for you.
You don't need anyone to tel you if you made the right choice.
You have the final say.
Moving out of style perfectionism
If you're tired of feeling stuck in style perfectionism, then it's time to look inward.
It's time to define your style for yourself.
It's time to create a sense of style as unique as you are.
It's time to finally feel confident in the outfits you choose.
If you're ready to move beyond style perfectionism and uncover your own style, I'd love to work with you!
